A new national study by Jesuit Social Services on boys and masculinity has sparked important conversation across schools, families and communities. The Adolescent Man Box Study surveyed 1,400 adolescents of all genders aged 14–18 and discovered that young Australian people overwhelmingly believe there is pressure on boys to appear strong, confident and tough at all times, and these social expectations shape their wellbeing, friendships and relationships.
But the research also shows something equally important:
Most boys actually want something different. They want more connection, more trust, more honesty and more emotional freedom. And this is exactly what we see at Top Blokes every day in classrooms.
What the study found
1. Boys feel real pressure to “be a man”
More than half of boys (and girls) believe society expects boys to always be:
- strong
- confident
- tough
- unaffected
These expectations show up in sport, online spaces, family systems and friendship groups.
2. But most boys don’t personally agree with those expectations
When boys are asked privately what they believe, most reject restrictive stereotypes.
They want space to be:
- kind
- thoughtful
- curious
- vulnerable
- playful
This is a huge opportunity.
3. Boys are more likely than girls to feel they must hide feelings
This matters for mental health. The study shows boys who feel they must be tough are more likely to:
- feel lonely
- avoid seeking help
- not feel known by anyone
And loneliness is one of the strongest predictors of harm.
4. The stronger the pressure to “act manly,” the more harm occurs
The study showed a clear pattern:
The boys who most strongly felt they had to be tough, unemotional and in control were also the ones more likely to:
- struggle silently
- use aggression
- rely on online spaces for connection
- feel deeply lonely
What we see at Top Blokes
Every week, our Youth Workers walk into classrooms full of boys who are unsure whether it’s safe to be open, afraid of judgement from peers, trying to work out who they are. We show up. We listen. We don’t judge. Some boys open up right away. Others take weeks. Some take months. But trust always forms when we hold space gently and consistently.
When boys feel safe, they do talk. When they feel respected, they do show respect. When they are shown empathy, they learn empathy.
The study confirms what we see every day: Connection heals. Respect shapes behaviour. Belonging changes everything.
Adolescent Man Box Key Findings
Reasons for hope
- There are encouraging signs that many boys are moving away from narrow and restrictive views of masculinity. This is especially true for the idea that boys must be emotionally stoic. A significant number of adolescents believe it’s okay for boys to talk openly about their problems and comfort one another.
- Most boys believe in gender equality and reject sexist behaviours. The vast majority believe that girls should be treated as equals across all areas of life, and most express discomfort with witnessing sexist comments and harassment.
- Despite the growing influence of online spaces, boys continue to rely on ‘real-life’ relationships – especially parents – for guidance on personal issues and their understanding of masculinity.
- Most boys report feeling able to show vulnerability, whether with friends or family.
- Despite the pressures they face, most boys remain optimistic about their future.
Challenges we must confront
Many boys feel pressure to always appear tough and confident. Between 60% and 63% of boys and girls believe that most people in Australia expect teenage boys to be manly, confident, and strong at all times.
Those who most strongly internalise these restrictive masculine norms are more likely to hold harmful attitudes, engage in abusive behaviours, and struggle with their own wellbeing.
A concerning proportion of boys expressed homophobic or transphobic views with 48% of boys agreeing that being thought of as gay makes a teenage boy seem like less of a man.
A small but troubling number of boys report endorsing violence-supportive attitudes, retaliating when rejected, or having recently engaged in harmful behaviours – including physical violence, sexual harassment, bullying, and engagement with sexually explicit deepfakes. Notably, many boys who have recently used abusive behaviour have also experienced it recently themselves.
Many of the boys surveyed are accessing pornography that depicts unsafe, aggressive or non-consensual acts – shaping distorted understandings of sex and relationships.
