When Top Blokes young men sat down with Ally Langdon from Channel 9’s A Current Affair, the conversation started with one of the biggest questions facing families, schools and communities right now: What does it mean to be a good man?
For Salim, Ethan, Connor and Hayden, the answer is not about dominance, toughness or pretending everything is fine. It’s about confidence, kindness, service, self-belief and becoming someone their friends and family can turn to.
They spoke openly about the pressure young men are under to discover who they are in a world sending them mixed messages about masculinity. As Connor shared, young men are often told one thing and expected to do another. They might be told not to cry, while also being encouraged to talk about their emotions.
That confusion leaves many boys searching for identity, direction and belonging. And increasingly, they are finding those answers online.
The young men spoke honestly with Ally about the influence of social media, the manosphere and figures like Andrew Tate. They described how some boys are drawn in not just by the content itself, but by the sense of belonging it can offer when they feel isolated or unsure of themselves.
Salim shared that he had once found himself agreeing with harmful content online and feeling like he needed to harden himself. But he later realised he was becoming the man the algorithm wanted him to be, not the man he wanted to become.
That message matters.
Young men are not born with harmful views. They are shaped by what they see, hear and experience. If the loudest voices in their lives are coming from online spaces that reward anger, control and disconnection, those messages can take hold.
Top Blokes ambassador, Dr Justin Coulson joined the show sharing insights from his recent book, Boys and giving families practical support and help around talking with young men.
Ethan, Hayden, Connor and Salim were also clear about what helps. And that’s conversation. Not lectures. Not shame. Not adults speaking at them. Conversation that starts with curiosity and creates enough safety for young men to be honest about what they are seeing, what they are feeling and what they are trying to understand.
Salim said, “A conversation will get you incredibly far.”
That is what Top Blokes creates every day. Safe, practical spaces where boys and young men can talk about real-life issues including identity, relationships, mental health, anger, respect, pornography, online influence and what healthy masculinity can look like.
Young men need guidance, accountability and support. They need positive role models. They need spaces where they can ask hard questions without being written off. And they need adults who are willing to listen before they judge.
When Ally said it was a reminder that young men are inherently good, the response from the boys was simple and powerful: “Thank you for saying that.”
If we want boys to become good men, we need to stop only talking about them and start listening with them.
